Quitting Sleeping

Although I really enjoy catching some Z’s every now and then, I feel obligated to contend Nature’s effort to require this luxury we call ‘sleep’ on a daily basis. So how does one man, a mere mortal, single-handedly take on a force as great as nature? Why, with a brilliant plan, of course.

The average person requires eight hours of sleep per day. For thousands of years, humans have been practicing this slumberous ritual which has become an exceedingly difficult habit to break. My suggestion is to do with sleep as many are able to do with nicotine. No, not the patch. I was thinking more along the lines of gradually quitting, sleeping less and less over a period of time until it is no longer a physical requirement, but rather a luxury that can be performed when desired. This makes more sense to me, as there are seldom enough hours in the day to do everything that needs to be done. By quitting sleeping, you could rest socially when it’s convenient for you. No more drowsiness and fatigue to adversely affect your productivity.

It won’t be easy, but nothing worth trying for is. If we all work together, we can liberate millions of people throughout the world from this global epidemic. So come with me! Join hands and fight the battle against sleep as a team! College kids, truck drivers, graveyard shifters…anyone who’s ever woken up late for work or missed an appointment! It’s time to rise against this unnecessary evil and take back the one-third of our life that slumber has robbed from us!