I’ll just leave these here for your enjoyment.

A Little Trick That AT&T Taught Me

I recently called “The New AT&T” to merge my BellSouth and Cingular services into one bill in an attempt to save money. When I agreed to let them enable long distance service on my account they told me that after the call they would transfer me to a third party company. This company would, effectively, confirm my long distance changes and life would be great from thereon after.

Well, I ended up staying on the line only to be disconnected moments later. The next day I got a voicemail stating that the confirmation failed and I’d have to call and have them transfer me again. So I called…and waited…and waited…and waited. Finally, the rep picked up the phone and (after another 10 minutes of researching my account) stated she was going to transfer me to the third party service again.

My Ridiculous Sleep Schedule

For whatever reason, I slept in until 1:30pm yesterday. So, since I wasn't tired at all last night, I ended up watching the sunrise this morning. I finally went to bed at 8am which, of course, encouraged me to sleep in until another ridiculous hour (this time 2pm).

Now it's almost 11pm and I'm totally wired. The odds of actually closing my eyes and sleeping tonight are not the greatest. It's going to be a fun day at work tomorrow.


I’ve come to the harsh realization that I may never write legibly again and, if I ever have to resort to a pen and paper as my only means of communication, I may become incommunicationable! Yes, I know that’s not a real word but that’s where my written skills are headed – to indecipherable lines of scribbles and text! Without a keyboard I am simply not a written communicator.

I know this is true because of the final exam I was administered today. Almost the entire test was comprised of essay-style questions that required a pen and paper (GASP!). The difficulty of this exam had gone from elementary to an all out physical challenge. Sure, I had studied the material, but I was nowhere near prepared for an epic handwriting battle! Over 10 pages…four of which required more than just a bubble or circular marking. By the time I was through I had blisters on my fingers and blood on my knuckles. I didn’t think I would make it out alive. I saw my educational career die right there with that abominable test. But, with the click of a pen and the turn of a page, it was all over. Victory was mine! The Great War was fought and I had survived the wretched experience without any permanent damage to my hand. The only problem is, I’m not sure if anyone will be able to read my handwriting. I wonder if that matters?

Quitting Sleeping

Although I really enjoy catching some Z’s every now and then, I feel obligated to contend Nature’s effort to require this luxury we call ‘sleep’ on a daily basis. So how does one man, a mere mortal, single-handedly take on a force as great as nature? Why, with a brilliant plan, of course.

The average person requires eight hours of sleep per day. For thousands of years, humans have been practicing this slumberous ritual which has become an exceedingly difficult habit to break. My suggestion is to do with sleep as many are able to do with nicotine. No, not the patch. I was thinking more along the lines of gradually quitting, sleeping less and less over a period of time until it is no longer a physical requirement, but rather a luxury that can be performed when desired. This makes more sense to me, as there are seldom enough hours in the day to do everything that needs to be done. By quitting sleeping, you could rest socially when it’s convenient for you. No more drowsiness and fatigue to adversely affect your productivity.