Kudos for Hershey's syrup

A drawing of a cartoon man pointing upwards

Hey there! This post was written in 2006, so it may contain information that is no longer accurate or thoughts that no longer reflect how I feel. As human beings, we're constantly learning and bettering ourselves through experiences and interactions with the world and each other.

I keep posts like this around for historical purposes and to prevent link rot, so please keep this in mind as you're reading.

— Cory

A craving for chocolate milk last night ended up with a trip to the store to pick up milk and chocolate syrup. Little did I know that this trip would forever change the way I feel about Hershey's Chocolate Syrup…

[In the store]

As I reached for a bottle of syrup, I paused. Something wasn't right. Something about these bottles was significantly different from the ones that I was used to. You know the kind — the ones with the push up cap that gets all gooey when you push it back down; the all-American Hershey's Syrup bottle that is virtually impossible to squeeze chocolate out of when it gets too cold. Yeah, that's the one. But the bottles on the shelf were…different.

A small, transparent piece of plastic with red lettering was affixed to the cap of each bottle. It advertised a ‘new & improved', ‘no mess cap' — probably another marketing scheme to encourage you to buy Hershey's Syrup (but seriously, who doesn't buy Hershey's Syrup?). With no other options, except second-rate generic chocolate sauce, I chose the alien bottle. I carried it all the way to the milk cooler, all the way to the register, and all the way back home. It was an awkward drive, but I was determined to experience some good ol' fashioned chocolate milk when I got home.

[At home, post-chocolate milk]

Now, to be honest, I don't know how to feel about this. I am both heart-broken and ecstatic. Life is so much easier now with my new & improved, no-mess bottle of Hershey's Syrup, and it's much easier to squeeze the chocolate out…even when it's cold! But I feel like a part of my childhood has been taken from me. Don't get me wrong, I mean, change is good. I just hope that, one day, Hershey will come out with a retro-bottle of their world-famous syrup so my children's children can see just how messy and hard it was for me to make chocolate milk back in the day.

Hey, it's the small things that count.