Missing nail clippers

A drawing of a cartoon man pointing upwards

Hey there! This post was written in 2006, so it may contain information that is no longer accurate or thoughts that no longer reflect how I feel. As human beings, we're constantly learning and bettering ourselves through experiences and interactions with the world and each other.

I keep posts like this around for historical purposes and to prevent link rot, so please keep this in mind as you're reading.

— Cory

Up until a few minutes ago I was confident that I was the victim of, perhaps, the greatest conspiracy of all time. It all started with myself, two cats, and a pair of nail clippers.

In this day and age, times are tough and nail clippers are hard to come by. Thus, my cats and I opted to share the one pair we have until another pair can be obtained. With that said and kitty-clipping day right around the corner, I came home to find the nail clippers gone. Yes, gone. Completely missing. Nowhere in sight.

I assembled a search team immediately. Comprised of me, myself, and I, the team scoured the vicinity for nearly 10 minutes with no luck of finding the missing clippers. I was left to face the fact that I may never see my precious clippers again, but I wasn't about to give up yet.

I decided to consult the cats to see if they knew anything about the disappearance. It was a desperate attempt, but I was in a desperate position. I suspected their alibi for hiding the clippers was to avoid getting their claws trimmed. However, after minutes of intense interrogation, I came to the conclusion that they were not responsible for this unforgivable act. My investigation was at an impasse.

I was almost about to call the search team back when I noticed a metallic object glistening in my nightstand drawer. Could it be? It was.

The clippers were exactly where I had left them. Alas, I realized that I was not a victim of some radical conspiracy, rather, a victim of my own senility.